I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
