But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
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