I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
