he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
