Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize