i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
