im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
