Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
