I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
