the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
