I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
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