I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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