I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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