whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Randomize
