Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Just took my morning after pill in the library
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
