I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
