Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
