Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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