I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Houston, we have a squirter
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
