You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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