I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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