I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
