Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
