the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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