??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
