I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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