Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
