Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
