as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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