Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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