why didn't you poke me back
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
