I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
