Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
