handjob tips. give me some.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
