u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
nutella sex= disaster
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
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