he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
The feeling are messing with the penis
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
