i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
