the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
