hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize