girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
