i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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