I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize