You really coming over, don't trick.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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