no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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