Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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