He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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