I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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