if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Four minutes until I can fart!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
