dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
