Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
