A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
