You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
a search helicopter?!
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
