Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm gonna fight the coyote
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
