dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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