Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I haven't been this sober since birth.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
