I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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