I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
