well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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