His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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