Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
