I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
