just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
