I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
So here I am, sexting at work.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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