so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
