The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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