Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize