Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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