he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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