The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
The uberlube is also flammable
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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