The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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