1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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