She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Randomize
