when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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