I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she pinky promised me she was 18
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sorry about my life...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
