He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize