True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize