Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
