Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
