what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Randomize
